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Hey.. It's good been so long! Its now October and I'm good... So much has gone on.. I'm in school full time to be a dentist so that's great. I have amazing grades but that's no surprise. Still single but whatever when God wants me to meet someone I will. My hair.. haha.. I think that was my last entry, but it has grown but my stylist cut it.. Maybe I'll add a picture to it... but it looks good.. I've also lost some weight so that a +++ lol.. no other way of saying it but with the symbol. My moms 3 year anniversary of her death is in 2 weeks.. been crying a lot lately.. seems like everything triggers it.. Kim Kardashians wedding was the start of it though.. So I'm gonna start posting some things in here... I have so much to talk about.. CRAZINESS!!! ..... but I gotta do it in order from my last post... hmm IDK..

La confiance est belle

Subconscious thoughts!!!

So...I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face.. as a result I chopped off all my hair... The first time I cut my ends and went to sit on my couch.. 3 minutes later I was back in the bathroom. Cutting and cutting with short minute breaks that resulted in me not having any hair.. I know I know I said I wouldn't cut it again but I couldn't help myself. The crazy thing is I've never physically cut my own hair so u can imagine how butchered I may look.. I cried as soon as I was done.. Can't believe I did this to myself. It has to do with my weight, it just has too! I've noticed that every time I cut my hair off its a result in a sudden weight gain... I wonder if the hair cut makes me get control of myself... yeah.. probably.. fat faced people do not look good with short hair.. SO control it.. lol I don't know, but I know I need to park it real soon... 


Try the Cherry Popsicle!!

I know this chic Corey who’s specializes in sucking dick, like she really enjoys it. She told me that she can make a dude bust a nut 3 times in 10 minutes just by sucking his dick. I believe her to.. I remember my girlfriend was trying to teach me how to suck dick, I had to be 16. It was so funny she came in my bedroom with 2 cucumbers and just started sucking. I was soo confused and frustrated because I couldn’t get it. As I got older and became comfortable with giving head I learned one thing. The wetter the better!!!  Men like wet head, no man wants you sucking his dick with cotton mouth, shit hurts… Teeth is ok IF you know how to use your teeth… Don’t go biting his shit, caressing his shaft as you choke down is ok… Once you perfect the deep throat aspect you should be good… Have fun with it, men will enjoy themselves more if they see your turned on by it.



Some of you know him from Criminal Minds maybe 500 Days of Summer regardless Matthew Gray Gubler will leave you feeling breathless. Gubler’s hippy and gruff  appearance goes great with those deep sultry eyes. They tell a story and IDK about you but I’m dying to know the truth. He plays Dr. Spencer Reid on CBS’ hit show Criminal Minds currently filming Season 7. Welcome Back JJ….. As the 27 year old genius doctor, Gubler has proven his spot on this hit show. His witty comments and idyllic memory goes great with the teenage flare he possesses. Check for yourself as to why he’s my # 1 celebrity crush…..


We are never satisfied with what we have. 

I’m feeling slightly indifferent. You see my cousin has been staying with me for the last two months and today she got her own place. Now these last two months have been hell. Being a private tidy person can be difficult when you open your home. Personally, I positive I have obsession compulsion disorder. I like things in order milk and water on one side of the fridge and juices on the other. Everything has a place and every place has space. 

My cousin is the slobs of all slobs. She doesn’t pick up after herself, leaves food everywhere. Will put something in the fridge without a lid.. Ugh I was the only one cleaning thinking to myself “bitch you shit and bleed in that toilet too, Clorox it sometimes!!!" It didn’t help that I live in the basement of my house, So my bed was right next to my couch where she slept.  I mean I can go for days on why I was unhappy, but at the end of the day she’s my cousin and I’ve been in her shoes. 

Anyway she’s gone now and all I can find myself doing is looking over to my couch and missing the pile of shit she had. Like I said she irritates the hell out of me but all I want is for her ass to come back. 



Music is the art which is most nigh to tears and memory.  ~Oscar Wilde

I saw this guy Javier Colon on the auditions of The Voice, my heart stopped.  He has been nothing but a blessing to my ears, such a angelic voice and phenomenal stage presence. He captures my attention every time. I don’t know how he isn't a star but something has to be done. Listen for yourself 

Sex gone right

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good. - Woody Allen

The moment you feel the vibrations of your clitoris hit the side of your vagina lip and the moistness of your panties from the thought of him inside of you happens when? All I need is to hear his voice and my body begins to trimmer. It doesn’t matter if we just finished fucking or if I’m mad. His voice is my trigger. To look into someone’s eyes knowing they have that type of control over you is insane. Just thinking about this makes me want to get off. To have a perfect penis that fits your vagina without being to big or small can become overwhelming. The thought of licking and sucking this penis turns you on.

Sex is not a chore it’s a sport.. Who can go the longest without tapping out, who can give the nut first, who sweats the most… I like my sex intense… smacking, choking, biting… What do you like, what’s your twist?


He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not!!

I’ll tell you a secret that I’ve held all my life, Its you that I live and for you that I die!

A four letter word has the power to destroy lives, make lives, have you doing things you wouldn’t normally do. Some people will kill for this, others run, but at the end of the day LOVE is like any other emotion. Dangerous and you cannot control it.
I’ve loved, I’ve loved a lot and I’ve learned that there is no love like the love we give to oneself. To be able to give and receive love you must love yourself first. How can you know a feeling for another if you don’t feel it within yourself. Yea, we always say “I love myself” but do we? What does it mean to love yourself, is there a way of proving it or is it just in our actions? Can we as people look at one another and say “he loves himself?” No, At least I don’t. If someone ask me do you love your mom,  without a doubt in my mind I immediately say yes. Were triggered at birth to love and we all have those given people we are just suppose to love. So, when we consort with people out of that love circle it takes us longer to love. You have to work for it, earn it.
I won’t lie I’m a lover, I love to love. The goose bumps you get when your around that person, the look you can’t help but give them, how they know everything without you telling. Maybe you giggle a lot, get quiet in fear of saying something silly, shit some people get angry…. Lol No matter what they do you still love them. To have so much brain activity when you see them. Me, it takes some time for me to love but when I do, I love hard. No matter what happens I will always love you.
I’ve loved hard, twice. Honestly, I’m still in love but its fading. The memory of us is dissolving… I tried to hold on but…… He jumped!! And when a man jumps its not good. For whatever reason he did its because of something you didn’t do. It’s harsh but it’s the truth. I can accept reality.. What can be frustrating is that occasionally well have a lil fling. With that comes emotions!! Ugh right… Anger, Sadness, Happiness, Hope.. Emotions. Love has so many emotions and that is why it is such a dangerous four letter word.

At the end of the day love is not something to run from nor is it something we just hand out. Love is a emotion and we as people need to just go with it, accept it, embrace it. Love is the root to all happiness!



What happened to courting? Guys stopping by the a girls home to show a interest? Walking to school, friendly phone calls, going on double dates with friends? 

Way back when, girls use to giggle over lunch about the guys that were courting them. How they were going on that first date and how nervous they were. When guys came to your home to ask your parents (dad) for permission to take their daughter out. That sacred moment when you decide your going steady. Taking the time to get to know one another. Falling in love!!

Who decided that courting was over? 

Present day we think we know someone because of a profile on a social site or because they walked past you in a crowded area. What happened to single people thinking its OK to have sex with someone before we know something as simple as a last name. At what point did we a people believe that we weren’t worth the chase? Are we confused, bored, eager… WHAT?! When did it become OK for me to go into a store and be harassed because someone knows me from some social site? When has it become OK to give a piece of your body to a stranger because he bought you a coffee? This is the world we live in. Guys, you don’t open doors, buy flowers or slow dance anymore? Has anyone wondered why the divorce rate is so high? Ladies, what happened to making a man work for the companionship, love, ass… It appears I have a lot of questions and no answers. 

A lot can happen in 70 years, I just thought some values were sacred……..